Total Eclipse of the Heart
by Neutrina
Summary: GSR songfic, the song is Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. I was just listening to the song, and it seemed to fit...


She expected to feel relieved, or bitter, or possibly both. What she didn't expect was the numbness. She had finally broken. She thought she was leaving to prevent herself from a burnout. She realized she was leaving because she had already gotten there. Staying would be useless. It was too late.

He walked down the hall with his head in a paper, as usual. She stormed by him as usual, but she said nothing. He turned around.

"Sara!"

She kept walking with her head up. She was going to leave. She wasn't going to say anything to him. She wasn't-

"What?" She meant for it to sound angry, or at the very least impatient. To her surprise, it sounded sad.

"Where are you going?" She listened for an angry tone, but heard only caring.

"I've had it. Every abuse case, I see my mother. Every time we get a little girl, I see my sister. Every time we get a man who's been stabbed, I see my dad. Grissom, I don't just remember them. I _see_ them. I think I'm going insane. I can't do this anymore. Don't try to make me stay. I'm tired of trying."

Turn around 

_Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round _

_  
_"Sara…"

"I'm tired of being the only one there when I cry. Did you know that I still cry myself to sleep? You're never there for me, except when Ecklie sends you. He might be the only one here who cares about me, and that should tell you something."

_  
**Turn around**,_

_Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears _

_  
_"Sometimes I think that the best years of my life were when I was in preschool. That was when my parents were too high to fight, and I was too young to fall in love with abusive and/or emotionally unavailable men. All I needed was my stuffed leopard. Who got burned in a bonfire on Halloween when I was six. "

_  
**Turn around**,_

Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by

"Sara, you know I'm always there if you need me."

The look in her eyes nearly broke his heart. It was a mixture of cynicism, bitterness, sorrow, and a twisted kind of amusement. "Not the way I need."

His breath caught. Did she really just say that?

_  
**Turn around**,_

_Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes  
_

"I'll be there however you need."

_  
**Turn around, bright eyes  
**  
Every now and then I fall apart _

She was crying, bright diamonds that carried 30 years of pain. When her eyes caught the light, Grissom could see their beauty, even encased in tears. He reached over to hold her hand. He couldn't meet the weight of those pools, not yet. He looked at her hand, reflecting on how many things a hand could mean. He knew their language well, but there were worlds that could be expressed without a single word, signed or not. Marriage or engagement, with a single ring. Contempt with a single finger. Love with a single gesture.__

**Turn around, bright eyes  
**  
Every now and then I fall apart 

He was expecting her to pull away. He was surprised when she leaned into him, and put her head on his shoulder.__

And I need you now tonight

And I need you more than ever 

He took her to his car, leading her by the hand like a child. __

And if you only hold me tight

We'll be holding on forever 

He knew she needed comfort now. He did the only thing he could think of: He hugged her. It was exactly what she needed. She fell against him, and a word came to mind, one she hadn't dared to think, hadn't dared to hope, in years. Safe.

And we'll only be making it right

Cause we'll never be wrong

"Grissom?" Her voice was not that of the fiery CSI. It was the child she should have had the chance to be. "Why now? You've always run away before. You've always put up so many walls against me."

"With love's light wings did I o'erperch these walls; for stony limits cannot hold love out."  
Sara smiled. "Romeo and Juliet." Then she became serious again.  
Together we can take it to the end of the line 

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time

"Every time I think I get through to you, you always put up even more shields, and I'm left in the dark. Promise me you won't leave this time." She looked up at him, and he held her gaze.

I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark

We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks

"I'm never making that mistake again. You are the light in my life."

I really need you tonight

Forever's gonna start tonight 

Forever's gonna start tonight

"My therapist is going to be out of a job soon." Sara laughed. This time it was a true laugh, one Grissom hadn't heard since Harvard.

Once upon a time I was falling in love

But now I'm only falling apart

There's nothing I can do

A total eclipse of the heart

"I love you"


End file.
